题目

求求大家帮帮我看看我的托福作文吧
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns.Use specific reason and examples to support your answer.
正文：
A profound changes of the conception of money have been seen in recent years.Nowadays,many people consider that the most essential aspect of career is how much a person earns.Meanwhile,still some deem that the most significant aspect for a job is whether we are interested in it or not.I agree the former.The most curical aspect of a career is the money a person gains.
Firstly,I want to point out that,people can not have a satisfied life without the supporting of money.If we find a job which is just your interest or sometimes it can not bring a satisfied salary.It will not only effect the relationship of the family but also making the bad quality of the life.A real example is that,a friend of mine,who was very good at swimming when he was young.He practiced swimming all the time i

提问时间：2021-03-30

答案

主要问题就是例子吧,因为我之前考过SAT,发现其实TOEFL的例子不用那么详细,你可以试着用一句话把例子总结出来,什么人名完全不用写的.还有,不要为了加单词而加单词咯,开头我不是很喜欢,我比较倾向于在开头就把自己的观...