题目

雅思小作文批改
这是我写的,剑桥雅思第五册,test two 中的writing rask 1
肯定写得不怎么样,但我下个月就要去考.希望高手们能够给点意见,哪些地方错啦,哪些地方用其它的方式表达更好啊,或者哪些词汇用其它的更准确啊之类的.辛苦了
The chart shows the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
In the first chart ,there are two reasons for study,career and interest.According to the pattern ,before 40 years old ,the proportions of study fo career of each group are more than the proportions that study for interest .However ,in group of age from 40 to 49 ,it is half and half that people are studying for career or for interest.The last group that age over 49 has much more proportion of study for interest.It is a big change.
The second chart shows employers support much more the group under 26 than any other groups in the pattern,and the reason must be that they spend more time and energy studying for career.Unfortunately,althouth the groups of 26 to 29 and 30 to 39 also have more proprotions to study fo

提问时间：2021-01-30

答案

1、细节要注意,例如标点符号后面应该空一格而不是前面空一格,第二段第二行 fo 应为 for,第三段 althouth 拼错.再如,我没有看原图,但看你的文章,应该是两幅图,所以一开始不应该用 The chart shows ...,而要用 The cha...