题目

雅思作文批改,第一次写啊…麻烦高手点评…谢谢~
有人认为政府应该控制暴力电影以减少社会上逐渐增高的暴力犯罪案件.Do you agree or disagree?
Some people hold the view that violence in films is one of the reasons that lead to violent crimes so government should keep it under control.I’m standing firmly on their side by three reasons.
To begin with,the dramatic endings in violent films will wake up the evil minds in some people since the tough guys in the movies may luckily escape being punished or even become heroes.Those who haven’t form a sense of right and wrong and can’t tell drama from reality will probably be misleaded to a guilty road.
Dramatic endings are only creating evil ideas in some people’s minds,but the tricks in violent films are teaching those people how to perform a clever crime.To attract a large audience and selling more tickets,the film writers will try all means to create new witty tricks.Once the potential criminals appreciate and understand some of such tricks,they will either choose a suitable one or com

提问时间：2021-03-31

答案

我觉得你最后一段写的比较好,可以作为文章的中心论点,这样的文章写出来更好.下面是我觉得存在的问题 1、首段重申文章的,但是要注意不要使用和作文题目一样的文字,要改写!eg.some people hold改为There is a ascendin...