题目

英语自我介绍帮我看看啊有错
英语自我介绍、请英语好的帮我看看啊有错、
帮涐改改、谢谢
hello,Everyone.My name is XX.NOW I am 16 years old .I was born in XX.There are 3 people in my family ,my parent and I .we love each other.I often play computer and listen to music .I want travel around world when i grow up.
hello,Everyone.My name is XX.NOW I am 16 years old .I was born in XX.There are 3 people in my family ,my parents and I .we love each other.I often play computer and listen to music.I want to travel around world when i grow up.
这样？
其实涐也觉得最后一句怪怪的- -
涐不知道最后一句要写什么，所以就随便加一句- -、
必须八句么、没办法、原谅涐英语不好、

提问时间：2020-10-08

答案

hello,Everyone.My name is XX. NOW【去掉,没有这么用的】 I am 16 years old .I was born in XX. There are 3 people in my family ,my parent【+s,此处用复数】 and I .we love each other【加上very much就更顺畅了】. I often play computer【play computer是错误搭配,可以说use computer】 and listen to music 【with it】.I want 【to】travel around 【此处缺少the】world when i grow up.
祝你的梦想成真!